All of your domains are belong to me.

Step 2 in Operation Dead Bears and Happy Cancer. Remove any references from my name online that don’t directly quote me and support my statements. I submit this evidence to you my readers of how righteous my cause is, and that I will silence my detractors through any claims possible!

Tara says this should be enough to make even the most hated members of the Pterodactyl Killer gang tremble in their computer chairs. Damn it, I forgot to demand pictures of the person’s face so Tara could draw penises on them. Well, I guess I could amend the complaint in like 3 days later. No big deal. I also need to demand more dinosaurs…

Your Righteous Defender of Silence,

Charles Carreon Esq.

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31 Comments

  1. niborsypher

     /  June 26, 2012

    So, you are actually suing yourself and are going to name yourself as Doe 2 when register.com names you as owner.

    But IANAL so the lager part of this letter is yebrisch to me, but I think I got that part right.

  2. Cosmic Changeling

     /  June 26, 2012

    Keep on trollin Carrion!

  3. Dactyl

     /  June 26, 2012

    Looks like he unmasked you.

  4. Valerie O'Gilain

     /  June 26, 2012

    I do love the fact that, despite the fact that directly under the title of this blog title it says “a satirical blog about Charles Carreon” and there is a whole page explaining the joke and that you are not really Charles Carreon, and yet the real Charles Carreon is accusing you of “misleading” people.

    I really do think that by the time this is over he will be suing everyone in the known world. But then again, I am just a “devil reciting scripture.”

    http://www.naderlibrary.com/bulletin_board/viewtopic.php?t=896&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=40

  5. “Take over my avenues of free speech”

    Wait… wait… wait… what? He’s complaining that you’re infringing on HIS free speech?

    Nucking Futz.

  6. niborsypher

     /  June 26, 2012

    I know I am the autistic one but you all zoomed in on the letter yes ???? (look at the logo)

    • I’m pretty sure that it’s a legitimate letter & SC (the person behind this site) added the comment re:the logo when blacking out Carreon’s contact info.

      • niborsypher

         /  June 26, 2012

        Oke, my wrong then, I really thought it was a cleverly constructed hoax

    • testmftest

       /  June 26, 2012

      Almost certainly legit – Tara has a post up saying they are going to sue fake websites:

      “And now there are two false Charles Carreon websites. And we’re going to have to sue them all. There are a lot of people just dying to be sued on this one. If you don’t have a lawyer in the family, I would recommend you start getting concerned about this now.”

      http://www.naderlibrary.com/bulletin_board/viewtopic.php?t=896&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=40

  7. Cosmic Changeling

     /  June 26, 2012

    Next step. Supeona Ars Technica for writing an article of his wife!

    • No, sue Ars. Everyone knows you sue first subpoena for facts later. This way you frame your debate then only “discover” relevant facts to your cause.

  8. Can i sue for having that logo inflicted on me a second time?

    • No. I can sue you for defamation of said logo. Let’s reach a quick settlement, how many dinosaurs do you have?

      • Santosh A Halper

         /  June 26, 2012

        I want to be part of a Class Action here, as I too saw the logo. Except I want to be on your side. How about you take her dinosaurs, then we’ll ride them, then we’ll say they’re broken and make her pay us the retail price of them. But they won’t be broken so we can take that dinosaur money to the dinosaur store and we can get TWO more dinosaurs.

        But get this… we’ll take them out back and put them in our dinosaur trailer, right? Then we’ll take her dinosaurs, the used ones, and walk in and go “YOU GAVE US USED DINOSAURS!” and he’ll say “OK we’ll give you fellas 50% off.” But then when he reaches into the register we’ll both shoot the used dinosaurs then when he looks up we’ll have our guns put away and we’ll go “THEIR BRAINS EXPLODED! WE WANT TWO *NEW* DINOSAURS AND THAT MONEY FOR DAMAGES AND DRY CLEANING.”

        Then we’ll have four brand new dinosaurs and the important part is nobody got hurt that was us!

        • You are a sick and twisted individual. Can I adopt you?

          • Santosh A Halper

             /  June 26, 2012

            Yes! I’m so happy! I’ll be such a good Carreon, so litigious and proud! I must get to work on my first battle rap!

  9. Santosh A Halper

     /  June 26, 2012

    This is a brilliant strategy when combined with you’re wife’s “keep trolling them” strategy: Very good lawyering, my mentor! http://www.naderlibrary.com/bulletin_board/viewtopic.php?t=896&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=50

  10. Kristen

     /  June 26, 2012

    My hat goes off to you, sir. Please don’t fold under to these pieces-o-work. My dinosaur of thanks for being awesome will be going in the mail first thing (please notify me of preferred species ASAP).

  11. thirdgeek

     /  June 27, 2012

    “Charles-Carreon.com is confusingly similar to iCall’s trademark or service mark.”

    What tortured logic. It’s clearly iCall who is misleading Internet users by using a name confusingly similar to Charles-Carreon.com; you should be suing them!

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