Well since I’ve been inundated with publicity and the likes I thought it was time to capitalize on it and create my very first consumer products line! Today I humbly submit to you my new brand of travel accessories called Carreon Luggage. See I’ve been married to a… special person for many years, so I know all about the hassles of dragging dead weight around. I also am known for filing litigation for just about any reason any where, so my slogan is going to be “We get your shit where it’s going. Carreon Luggage.” I believe that by leveraging my new found fame I will be able to monetize it and then take the money and dinotize(R) it. I have brought this idea to two separate firms so far and they’ve turned me down, which further proves the Mafia CIA Illuminati Luciferist conspiracy against me. So I ask that you all please begin placing funds in a trust that I will manage, and we’ll split profits accordingly. Once we have the initial investment down, I will contact my supporters in Asia to begin production of the Luggage which will be sold at flea markets and by street vendors. If anything goes wrong with the initial strategy, we’ll blame someone else for our failings and sue them to recuperate at least $200,000. If anyone writes a review critical of our prices or quality, we’ll sue them too for lost dinosaur profits. This will work….
Charles Carreon Esq.