If you have read my arch nemesis’ blog popehat.com, you should know how much hassle he has caused for me. It is because of this, and his now continual harassment of you, that I say we should sue him for mental distress on your part. I also say we go after that law quoting neophyte Adam Steinbaugh for trying to make you look like a fool. These two legal harpies must, and will be taught a lesson.We can even stick it to Marc Randazza for taking me off his Christmas Card list… or for threatening you… that’s a better legal strategy probably.Here is how:
1. I will draft a letter to all parties envolved stating that they have caused you emotional stress.
2. I will demand $20,000 and that their domains now point to your illustrious website.
3. I will use half of the $20,000 to clone a T-Rex.
4. The T-Rex will eat Ken Popehat, Adam Steinbaugh, and Marc Randazza
5. Crystal Cox will send you a thank you card.
6. I will take the other half of the $20,000 and set up a Charitable Trust for you.
All I require is an advancement of one DNA sample from an amber mosquito and a site rip of all your currently hosted pictures…
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It’s been weeks since we left our house. The conditions have become squalid and unbearable. I haven’t had a latte in forever and feel like the world is coming to an end. Why won’t these Illuminati leave me be? Every door knock, telephone ring, and stranger on the street could be an agent of my nemesis, the Oatmeal. We are running low on supplies, we’ve been subsisting off of saltine crackers and ketchup for 3 days now, and I am tired of using supermarket ads for toilet paper. Our television broke a week ago too, so I’ve been flipping through my only entertainment, a binder full of women.
I though of something entirely terrifying tonight. What if my enemies already have a Tyrannosaurus Rex? What if it’s been some kind of cat and mouse game, but the whole time it was them just toying with me as a cat would do? That would mean that no matter what I do, they’ve already won…